Try a little tenderness


What would you choose between pursuing what you want in life and your obligation to life? Are you going to be the narcissist or are you going to give up what you’ve been dreaming of and planned of in life?

What would you choose?

I don’t have much obligation to life, except for the great one. I keep myself free so that I can fly high; I dare to keep my heart broken over and over in order for me to stay to the path where I draw; I keep on wiping my own tears so that can prepare myself for the next unexpected situation; I keep my head high so that my spirit stays intact. I keep on taking bold decision so that my head is always straight. But how do you deal with the one that you really love wanting you to do the otherwise?

Saying no to the person you want to be; saying it’s not a good idea to be strong; but just to be there for them, is sufficient enough for them to say they are proud of me. I can do that, but will I be happy by then?

Life is effin’ challenging. When you wish for something, it stay far from you. And when you start running towards the direction, you get more than 2 directions and opportunities lies in front of you. You were wishing upon running towards the road not taken, you will encounter a few junctions of opportunities; and NOT everything at the same time. Life is unfair. Testing one soul to prove some kind of kindness in one self but taking away the one that really a core to one self; the strength and the spirits to stay on the move. Or else, everybody else would be just a soul-less being.

I know, I may not think like the norm. My target in my 20s is to pursue and challenge myself to the maximum, not to settle in a settled life. Yes, I eventually will be settled but this is not the time. I am reaching the peak; I have not yet reach the peak and I have to rotate back down? Will that be fair to everyone?

Being successful is to succumb to the surrounding or to stay true to yourself?

I know, I don’t share my life to anyone else. I am not ready to open up; even to the one that I love the most. I keep on having the night mare that I will never be good enough for them, never been proud for them despite taking back home so many A’s, and other achievements. I can never be good enough. I’ve struggled thrice as hard as others and I am still, not there. Isn’t it fair? It does make me a stronger person, but I never get to hear, you’ve done good; good job; we are proud of you.

Maybe it’s not verbally said. I know, body language speaks louder than words, but if the language conveyed doesn’t really show, what else can i hope for? I just hope everyone is happy to anything decided.  I love all dearly, really. From the bottom of my heart. There can never be a bigger love than to love them. Not even a guy that stole my heart.

But sometime, to really love someone, you got to let them go.

That’s the greatest love of all. Your heart warm when you think of them. You are proud of them, and they are always in your mind and heart, though they are not in front of your eyes anymore.

To love and to give is the ultimate selfless act.

I can’t help but to tear up now, i love them dearly that I don’t know what else to do. Or to say.

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