Burnout 2015


2015 has been very tough for me. I experience lotsa things that good and bad. 2015 year started off with the unfortunate car-hijacking that leave me with permanent scars, and the new relevation. And, it opened my eyes on those who care about me, and who doesn’t. That happened on the end of January.

Nothing much happening on February, apart from getting recovered from the injury, trying to walk again, i have to postponed my Nepal trip to April.  Life is tough in juggling things, not enough money to cover for daily expenses, all burnout from renting a car to go to work. February is full of struggle.

March came when nobody even remember my 30th birthday. Or nothing much, i get hoped for from the person that i dear the most. March come and go in a breeze.

April is the most awaited month as am  hiking up the Annapurna Base Camp. Everything re-set from February to end April. And when we were there, on our way from Kathmandu to Pokhara, earthquake strike. Never in 30 years that Nepal struck by earthquake. Why does it has to happen when I am there? Bad omen. Ok fine. The struggle to hike up, down, back to Kathmandu international airport to catch the Malaysia army plane, we got into car accident. Double bummer. Mimang sial. Oh well. Things happened.

May ended abruptly with trying to recover from everything. End of May, hit me in the face. 1st of June. I swear i will never forget this date. For affection turns to hatred. Never in my life, that my heart full of hate. But I swear, I will never forgive, for anything. I will never give face. I will never give any sense of interest. Friendship scale down to zero. I am mean? No, I respect myself too much to get myself get that kind of treatment. Losing friendship? I don’t need your friendship.

June I started moving to new place. Finally. A place on my own. Struggling with payment and to sort the household. Readjusting my finance is the major drawback. Up to the point where I skip dinner because I can’t afford to buy myself dinner. But I made it through.

July come and go in a breeze. Quiet fasting month and raya. Back home for raya. and back to KK again for TMBT 2015 end August. My first failure in running as i DNF at last checkpoint. Universe is playing a joke on my life eh?

September? I don’t remember anything significant in my life in September. I am saving for my upcoming trip though.

October came in a snail-pace, but towards the end of the month, project change 360 degrees direction, 3 days before my long-break. Seriously, universe? You keep on throwing ball to me, and laugh at me?

First week on November, I was in Amsterdam, Netherland. Yes, am having fun sightseeing, and exploring the city on my own, but that come with a worry at the back of my mind. I keep on thinking about my work. What the fuck yeah? I return to Malaysia a day earlier, so that I can have time to recover from jet lag, revise plan and presentation by the next monday. Tell me not to hate my life now. 5 days of working including that monday of presentation and, am flying to Japan with the whole office. Again, the day am flying out to Osaka, client drop a bomb-email. Oh my goodness.

However, 9 days in Japan covering Osaka, Kyoto and Tokyo. Enough to put a smile on my face, and experience the developed countries facilities. Malaysia should be ashamed. Bikin malu saja.

Today, mark the first of December. I am hoping that tiny bit of positiveness as my 2015 is full of shit, full of struggle, and i am tired. Demotivated.

 

 

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