State of mind


This would be another mid-night rambling from me. I know, it’s been a while. All of these while, am just updating this blog with my weekend activities, food discovery and whatnot. However, not a post that truly describe what’s in my head, and heart. It’s half past mid-night and I can’t sleep.

It’s not that am emotional, nor that am stressed. But, it’s one of those night where i contemplate, and I need to write to relax, and to be good about it. Just like when you need a friend to listen to your rambling, I need my blog to write about what’s inside my head.

I spend the whole weekend in my tiny room. Friends asking me out for partying, clubbing and sort, and am not in the mood to go out. Friend calling me for catching up, and sort, and am not in the mood to meet anyone. I just wanted to be with myself.

I need to spend time with myself. I’ve been neglecting myself and attending to  people surrounding me. Call me introvert, I am.. I need to be alone to freshen myself up. I get sick with am surrounded by people 24/7. Hence, am not going to the office this weekend.

Today, is monday.. is another hectic week at work. I need to brace myself to endless work stuff. Ah. Do I enjoy what I am doing at work? Yes, I do. But, I just feel that something missing. I don’t know.

I got the coolest job, the one that I dream of and pursue since I left KK 5 years ago. I am finally here. But there’s something missing and I can’t point it out, like job satisfaction.. something to feed my soul.

Is it that, I don’t get to do direct contribution to the community and environment? It is because am designing for the middle and upper middle class market target and not, for those lower income people? Is it that, I don’t get pat on my back, and get appreciated at work that I don’t have the drive to achieve more than what I am doing now?

The money is good. The high-life KL is good. But..

I don’t know which one. It’s just that what am doing now, doesn’t feel like am satisfied, inside. Doesn’t justify why, I change to this scope of work in the first place. I just, can’t point it out, yet. It’s there inside of me, I can feel it… but I don’t know what and how to go about it.

Maybe I need a holiday. A refresh. a pause, and start button to press on.

Anyway, blessed vasakhi to everyone.

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