Kali kedua


I have this dilemma. Yeah, I will always blog when I have my worries. Wow, do you notice that i haven’t blog or spill what’s inside my mind for months? Well, life must be good then? Life must be contented for me? Well, Yes and No.

I do have ups and downs but i channel it at some other places, like talking to friends, or to go workout. Or to immerse myself into work, and stuff.

But now I have this big pressure in my heart that I can feel it weighing on my shoulder now.

I won’t tell you what is it, but as usual, I will describe it bit by bit.

I need to answer one question now, to myself: am I ready to move on? I have moved on from one aspects in life, but .. this will always be my priority, and am i ready to take another challenge? am I ready to get out of the comfort zone, and risk it all again? I am comfortable on where I am now, what I do, but .. for how long? Will the honeymoon phase end soon?  Will I be missing this boat, if I stay where I am now just because I don’t want to stir the balance i have achieved now.

The question still linger, will this next move would create a new benchmark to me? Why am I so scared of taking the risk? Why am I worry so much on instability where I thrive well in those areas. and comfort becoming my darkest nightmare?

Will I be alright staying where I am now? OR should I .. should play that Adele’s chasing pavement song now.

I am forever grateful, that whatever I have aim for, I got it.. I excel at it. Nail it! Like, seriously.

I feel dizzy, I feel that I want to sleep it off right now, and not to think about it, and wake up tomorrow, pretending it’s not there.

But, it still.. at the back of my head. Until I resolve it. Or push myself to decide/accept it.

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