It will rain

Selamat hari raya everyone. I’m blogging from the Summer Place’s balcony, having my coffee & kuih cincin for breakfast overlooking the Penang bridge. It such a sad day, I don’t know why am I being emotional. This is not the first oversea raya for me. I havent been home for raya for the past say 5 years (to include my days when I was in KL). I’ve been doing fine. Guess sometime you appreciate more now than before. Oh well.  Mommy called in the morning, telling me how much the masjid bandaraya has changed. My dad gave me a review on how his day going to be today. I hope they are happy and surrounded with good people there, and won’t miss me too much. I love them to death.

What is life gonna be for me for the next 3 years? Have I planned it yet? Or tentatively sketch out the framework of my life? I guess, not really. I’ve been living my days, I’ve been trapped in this stable life: weekdays working like a dog, weekends: party animal, holidays: Chill-out day. Is this what I want? Temporarily, yes but I am looking for more than that.

As for me, I am doing okay here. I am still holding it together, I have to be brave and strong for myself. I have no one to depends on here but myself. I got no shoulder to cry on but my own, I have no helping hand here but my own. So, yeah. I got to be far more independent than I am now. Just that, emotional part I need to take over control. Take over control, ta tat aaakee over control. Damn. Afrojack.

The view here is awesome. It’s so bright but I can hear the rain, and when I look closely now, its raining. This weather is best to describe me. People can see me as the bright, nuts, happy-go-lucky girl on the outside but no body really knows what’s boiling deep down inside. I am such a lonely soul. I try to make everyone surrounding me happy, but no body really asked me whether am I happy or not. Nobody really bother to even know. Oh well. Cest la vie.

I am ready for new challenge. I am ready for new venue. I am ready for new love. and, I am ready for new paradigm shift. I am quite inspired by the mia’s revolutionary hum. Rise above mediocrity, it’s not about where but how you go. 

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