Am I a dissapointment to the team? I tried my very best to improve, to sharpen my strokes, I never skip practices, i got bruises and injuries and I am not complaining, I respected others and yet, why I feel miserable?

 I make a stop to my life so that I can give a full commitment to the varsity. Am I making the wrong decision in the first place? I should just drop this and move on with life right? Why would I given up everything for something that is not permanent, something that doesn’t even give a major impact to my life. Am I taking the wrong road this time?

Should I leave it there? I hate to be a failure. If it is my own, I don’t mind but I don’t want to affect others.

I tried to be insensitive, but I can’t help it but to be the otherwise.

I’ve given up my best. I pushed up my all to be better. But why it is still not better? I can’t settle for satisfactory. I need to master it. I need to be dang good on it. Oh why oh why?

I wish the great one would be here right now. I need a shoulder to cry on. Or at least someone to listen to me.

Should i give up or should i keep on pavement? Even if it leads to nowhere?