Biggest confrontation this raya break. I will not keeping it inside anymore. I need answers, either the answer I want or the one I’m trying to avoid. It has been eating me inside and it is pulling me down & down. I’m going to do it over again, and move on.

I was in msn with one of the msn-acquaintance. The other night I gave an advice to confront and tell him what’s keeping inside, to straight things out, to let his thoughts be heard, etc.

Today, he’s telling me to do the same with my case. I am such a chicken to ignore what pulling me down and said everything is okay. I can handle it.

Yeah, right.

I am the biggest liar to myself. Argh. I hate this. I’ve getting lotsa good advice and things I should do but I am not doing it. Why? Because I’m such a coward. Do you know the biology terms of reflex movement in which the first time you touch a hot water and your brain establish it as it burns you and you automatically remove your hand from the hot water. And when you are in the same situation again, your brain recall to the situation and reflex accordingly? 

It’s the same with me now. I reflex to the unfavourable situation & acting like nothing wrong with it.

Silly me.

I’m trying to be smart this time.

But I have no courage. How?