Birthday month

Oh hi everyone ! it’s coming to the third month of 2018, and that means… birthday is coming up !

Wow. My last blog post was about this year revelation, or was it about Hawaii? Anyway, I’ve been crazy busy with work. I mean, literally working non-stop (except for CNY break which I spent, still on work related. I did a model visualisation of the property I bought in Revit).

Yes you read it right. I spent a lot on January and slashed 4 out of my 9 resolution for this year! YES in just first 30 days of 2018. Praise to God for everything. I feel that for the past 2 years was at my lowest point in life, and am feeling am moving (slowly, moving) up again. I just need to keep my head down and heart high. Sorry I am talking gibberish again. I am not used to writing anymore.

It’s hard to become an adult, with burden on your shoulder and try to keep roof under your head and food. It is a constant struggle, and am succumb to the reality of that. Gone were the days where, I feel am passionate to do something, great.

It feels like you are in the system where, moneys and dollars is essential in your life to keep you alive. So hard work equals money. Not, hard work equals job satisfaction.

Perhaps am i little bitter over the, unfortunate situation I am in now where hard work doesn’t equal equivalent worth of amount in the defined system. IF you know what I mean.

The thing now is, should i keep on holding to the system where once I feel passionate about so that I can keep on getting wages to keep me alive, or

To go to the other side, and still in the system, but you are doing it for the sake of better loot?

I am still learning a lot, and equally an easy life but, I am feeling the inflation and if am still in status quo, that tiny bit of rise could become a problem for me.

Adults is about paying bills, be responsible and those shitznit. Luckily I have no one under me that I need to take care of (except for sticky, but sticky doesn’t need educational fund and sort).

I wonder how those people with kids, and other responsibilities cope up with this situation. I can’t. and I have no commitment-responsibility-whatsoever.

Still, I feel drowning in the system.

I used to go to Zara or H&M and spend 500-600 in one go but in my paperboy, i got at least 5-6 items, and nowadays, with the same amount paid, when I walk out of the shop and I only have with me, 3-4 items. That’s why you always see me in my same clothes that I am wearing every week. I don’t shop anymore. I keep on wearing the same clothes until its worn-out.

I can’t afford anything anymore. All my money goes to paying bills and food. I don’t come with silver spoon on my plate, and I paid everything myself.

I can’t even afford to splurge myself with gift this coming birthday.

So sad.

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