Hi everyone. Am back in Kota Kinabalu again this weekend. I started the day yesterday by waking up at 3 am, getting ready and last minute packing (as usual), and managed to get a taxi before 4am. I reached KLIA 2 by 4.30am and waited for my boss. 

He came a bit later, saying that his taxi didn’t show up and the taxi company has to find a substitute taxi for him. We had super early breakfast at the airport. Our flight take off on time, I supposed. It is the first flight out bound for Kota Kinabalu. I slept the entire flight, with drools and whatever shit on my face, and couldn’t care less on my appearance. 

Driver fetching us from the airport and sending us straight to the meeting. Technical meeting took a long time, waited for the Interior designer to come and in between the technical meeting, i managed to check my email, replied few emails regarding my other projects, as well as surfing the internet, since the wifi in the client office is super fast. The whole consultant team went for quick lunch downstairs and then I send off my boss to the car to catch his flight back to Kuala Lumpur, and am waiting for my mom. 

Haha I asked my mom to drop by Sutera Marina Club as I want to register myself for the Sutera Harbour Sunset Charity Run. Yeah, am not that fully recovered but this leg is so itchy that I can’t hear any run without joining it, even though am here for such a short break. I fully utilised the time spend here. 

Tomorrow I’ll be following my dad to his boss open house here, and I have to look good, to present myself well and yeah. For certain reason, that I need to do what I feel is right to do. Tomorrow will be a new chapter start for my life, and I will promise to take care of myself and my heart. No more prisoning my heart to something that is poisonous. No more waiting and hoping for the sun to shine from the other side of the world. I am controlling my heart and my decision now. I had enough of waiting, enough of saying yes to everyone when they put a fucking NO to my face. No more.

I am telling you. No more. I know I have been blogging about it for months, and no action taken yet but when it comes to heart, it is not as easy as turning off the engine. You need time, to think over, to weigh the pro and con, to analyse and to see how the situation go. 

It can never be as easy as A-B-C. This is the fucking algebra that I need to untangle. The endless probability that you need to calculate over and over again, because it doesn’t give the definite answer. 

oh, and rest in peace MH17. The whole nation mourn for you. Al-fatihah.