Grateful for small mercies


I complaint a lot, on tiny little things. On how things are not moving according to the plan,  or that something unexpected ruin a perfect moment. It’s like that. But nothing is perfect right? A great day is ruined by such a few second humiliation, doesn’t mean the whole day is ruined right? It is how you look at it. I am very grateful for little things, and am feeling it tonight. I have no regret and I have no ill feeling towards anyone (even those who break my heart). I take everything as a great experience in life and to learn from it. If it is good, then keep up the momentum, if it do harm to you, learn from it and try to solve the problem by finding a better solution. It is about little decision you made in life.

As of my decision to stay in Penang, I adhere to my decision. I stick to it, even it kills me inside (I am comfortable in my own skin, back in KK) but I got a mission. A planned future. An outlook for myself to go further. A goal. A direction in life. I may not figure out what is the most important things in life as yet (hey, you can’t decide everything when you are just 26), but I am hoping life will unfold piece by piece and shed me some light in moving on with life.

I was having a conversation with my great friend, about my sudden change in feelings after several encounter that made me look at different shed of light on life. The great one said to savor the feeling, it is part of growing up. It does terrify me a little bit because it is the other side of the road that I am trying not to go now. Maybe, I will when I am 30, but if it is fate, I can’t say no to it right? So I am supposed to open up my mind, and heart and let the feeling flow in, and to think thoroughly about what I have been feeling. Ok, I make it sound so complicated here, but actually it is the simplest decision and everyone gone through this phase around my age. Some already walk over to the other side, and some anticipated to go there without really thinking thoroughly on the pro & cons of it, just because it is the norm, and everyone it doing the same way.

That is not my way. I don’t normally just follow. I’ll question, I’ll google, I’ll ask around, I reason out myself, I make checklist of pro vs cons, I let it flow, and where it got me, then I’ll decide.

I am grateful that apart from this complicated mind complicates my life (decision-wise), I think I choose a pretty good road so far. There are perks though, but cest la vie right?

Enough of the early morning rambling. I am going to sleep.

Good day peeps!

 

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