One day, I am terribly grateful to god that I live this life, and another day, I am asking Him why test me in this way. Either way, I am grateful to have been tested and granted happiness even though it was just a brief. Life is like that. You can’t weep and cry and go back to your parents. You got to stand on your own feet and wipe your own tears. Even your other half, is not strong enough for you. You got to be strong for yourself first, then only others. It does broke my heart to learn the truth, that has been just a hunch all these while. Well, truth hurts, and I should know by now it is not worth getting hurt by that. But I was sadden by the fact that people keep on wanting to be me. Please don’t will ya? Be your own self. I am what I am, and you are who you are. This is the millionth time of people wanting to be me. All I can do now, is just laugh it out.
And the rest of the weekend, I spent with my best friend. We listen to jazz and soul music at hard rock lounge, dip in the cool pool, jetski along ferringhi, a rocking night at hard rock cafe and so on. Well, I love the sound of the breaking waves at night, and early in the morning. Such a soothing sound. Also, the windy night. Ah. Hard rock reminds me of nexus. It is far, to compare between these two, but the same thing that made me miss Kota Kinabalu when I was spending time along the hard rock beaches was the sound of the waves, the sea and the wind. These, really sooth my soul. Made me forget all those worries, and struggles, and anything negative in my life. The beaches really a food to me. To freshen me up. I guess it’s time to go back to KK again. To gain back the old iDa. I miss home.
But then again, do I want to be the old iDa, or move on with the new one? The old iDa is introvert, shy and scared to try something new while the new iDa is daring, and up to any challenges, brave and quite extrovert, in good and in a bad way. he,he.
I’ve been in severe dehydration for a month, and because of that, I got infection. It was terrible, and I am on antibiotic now. Apart from that, I’m gulping big bottles of spritzer to hydrate myself, but 2-3L is not enough. My lips are still dry, and its’ aching. To make things worst, I am sitting in a dry, air-con bungalow the whole day and I am fasting. Guess that worsen the situation innit?
I miss my best friend. I miss whining, and complaining about my sucky life to him. Serve me right for staying in Penang. He said I am better off living in KL.
Maybe it’s time to forget about Penang and move to KL?
What do you think? I mean, the thing that hold me here, I let it go. Almost let it go. And there are no reason to stay (apart from my initial plan). Ah. I should be thinking with my head, and not my heart.