Note: This post is not to critisize but rather on my personal opinion.

I almost give up my way to my personal legend for the opportunity given to me for the past few months.  It was an impossible task to carry & a huge responsibility for me to run the whole 20-months of Study. I am quite skeptical at first with the proposal study outlined during the proposal stage & we were competing with few other huge and established consultancy firm in Sabah.  The Study outline carries quite a significant weigh in getting the contract & I am quite surprise we managed to ‘get something our of nothing’ kind-of situation.

I am quite blessed to be given the opportunity to handle such a huge task with my 1 year working experience & when the person in charge of the whole thing normally would be a person with at least 10 years experience (and maybe with a title of Dr. or Ir. in front of their name). So when it compare to me, I am a padawan running around this field with such limited knowledge and experience. But I am WILLING to learn. I put my head into different kind of reports, guidelines, Master Plans, etc in order to understand the existing environment & how relevance the terms of reference. I tell you, it doesn’t need a PhD or a 10 years experience to know all that. All you need is the willingness to go extra mile to learn & critical as well as practical-sound thinking. I managed to outline the whole thing in one piece.

Team work also important in succeeding the chase to win the contract. This is the pillar of the whole Study team. I am grateful that I have a very competent team & my superior should be grateful too for that. We have established a nice working environment and everyone pretty much know each other’s character & able to manipulate the strength of each individuals in order to contribute to success of the aforesaid Study.

Anyway, as I am still green in this, my task is to coordinate & to make sure everything will go smoothly, on time. I freaked out at first. I know NOTHING about project management. For such covers vast area of Sabah, I almost fainted thinking about it. But I take the challenge. I know I may not get direct increment or any monetary gain as well as name (as I am only the coolie) but I know, the outcome of the challenge, I will be able to gain the knowledge & ways on how to run the whole Study. I would directly encounter problems but at the same time, I will get plenty of experience & technical-sound knowledge. I keep on telling myself that over and over again & that overcome the fear of handling the Study.

It is such a shame that I have to let go of all that. The next person should be grateful to be given and carry on the responsibility I am carrying now and not to moan & groan about it.  I know it is, quite impossible for such a small organization to carry out such a big task but I keep on telling myself (ok this is lame, my high school motto, urgh), what we do we carry through. I keep on holding to that.

Everything will not be as bad as it seem. It just require careful planning & lots of courage to brace yourself to handle such relatively new level of responsibility. So the reluctance & the sour face ain’t going to help the smooth power and task transition. Like I said, team work is important.

I am doing a 20-months planning when I am just supposed to work on the work for the 2 weeks left I am as tree-hugger. And I am not complaining. 

It is a passion to work & to sort things problem. Not for the sake of monetary (or even name) gain.

I don’t know other people perspective on job, but I put my head into it & the interest to learn more grows. 

This is just my humble opinion.

I will be OT-ing the whole week (and even weekend) to finish up the inception. I am willing to carry my last report when I am just supposed to let others to take over everything. To others, competitors etc, yes we will successfully running this study so far & I am sure the next person will be able carry the task without any problem. Only if they open up their heart & mind to it. 

Maybe I am being too,overly positive. But positive vibes send out to the universe, the universe will give back positive feedback to you. Gambate! 🙂

p/s: The post title is not refering to the Emmanuel Kant’s ‘means to an end’ morality , categorical imperative. But its up to individuals on how you look at it based on the above scenario described.